Indescribable Utah: Nature's Munificent Masterpiece

I live in Brussels, Belgium; however, I am a native89 intersects with Highway 12, you must turn
of California. It used to be fun to watch theright for about 35 minutes to the park’s
reaction of people here when I told them this.entrance.
Their eyes would almost glaze over and theyFor lodging you have two choices. All along
would sigh, “If I ever visit the UnitedHighway 12 you will find motels, whose prices rise
States, it will have to be California.”the closer you get to the park. They have
It used to be fun to watch this reaction. Itanother disadvantage. They are rather isolated, so
isn’t any more, because I now feel like ayou are almost obliged to eat where you decide
traitor to my heritage. “If you ever visitto sleep.
the United States,” I now say,The other possibility will cost less and give you
”there is better than California.”greater freedom. About 5 minutes beyond the
Certainly, Joshua Tree, King’s Canyon,junction of U.S. 89 and Highway12, you will find
Sequoia, Yosemite and other natural splendors inPanguitch. This town has a plentiful supply of
California are well worth seeing. And Los Angelesmotels, a number of restaurants, a supermarket
(my hometown), San Diego, San Francisco, andand other shopping opportunities.
Sacramento are exciting cities. However, whatCount on spending two days in Bryce Canyon,
you will see in Utah will literally blow your mind.and possibly three if you simply can't tear
Utah? Yes, Utah. Plus a little bit of Arizona andyourself away, before going on to your next
Nevada. But principally Utah.destination. So book your motel accordingly.
I didn’t come to this conclusion lightly. IWhen you decide to move on, resist the
was led to it several years by a Belgian friendtemptation to return to the interstate for a quick
who had recently returned from a vacation in thetrip to Canyonlands and Arches in eastern Utah.
U.S. and was showing me his photos, particularlyThis is about a 4-5 hour drive from Panguitch
of Bryce Canyon (western Utah). They werealong a comfortable, high-speed superhighway.
blindingly beautiful. With a smile of knowingThe problem is, you see practically nothing of
superiority, I chuckled a bit and said, “Look,interest along the way.
I know something about photography. I knowRather, take Highway 12 back past Bryce Canyon
how such pictures can be arranged.”towards Capital Reef National Park. Highway 12,
“I didn’t arrange them,” heone of the most scenic routes in the U.S., will
replied. “In Bryce Canyon, all you have tooffer you sights as remarkable as any you will
do is close your eyes, point your camerasee in the parks themselves. The temptation to
anywhere. And this is what you get!”stop frequently to take pictures will be
I took him up on the challenge. A few monthsoverwhelming.
later, I went to visit family in Las Vegas, thenStopping at Capital Reef: A Capital Question
rented a car and headed north into Utah. FirstShould you actually stop at Capital Reef?
stop after driving through the barren NevadaEverything depends on how much time you have
desert was Zion Canyon National Park. Exceedinglyavailable. Like all the national parks, Capital Reef is
green, even exceedingly beautiful, but not exactlysplendid. But to my mind, it is one of the least
what I would call spectacular. Two hours furtherspectacular (there are there degrees of
on, I saw Bryce Canyon National Park and simplyspectacular).
didn’t believe my eyes. “This justThe best thing is to follow Highway12 to Torrey,
can’t be!” I gasped. I spent thewhich is just outside of Capital Reef, and check in
whole day exploring the place, still gasping and stillsome place. There are plenty of motels and some
not believing my eyes,local restaurants. By leaving Panguitch by 9 a.m.,
I have now seen Bryce Canyon seven times, andyou can arrive in Torrey in plenty of time to see
always with the same unalloyed amazement. Ipart of Capital Reef that day. The next day you
admit to having a particular weakness for thereturn for a second look, then in the afternoon
park’s indescribably tangerine-orangemove on towards Arches and Canyonlands.
symphonies in stone, thousands ofHighway 24, which leads from Capital Reef
them—literally. But my reaction to Arches,towards Arches and Canyonlands, has many
Canyonlands, Capital Reef, and Natural Bridgesattractive sights along the way. So keep your
national parks, all in Utah, come reasonably close.camera ready and don’t hurry.
If there is truly an enchanted land anywhere onHighway 24 joins the I-70 at a place called Green
earth, Utah must be it.River. You will still be about an hour’s drive
Now knowing the region reasonably well, I wouldfrom Moab, the local metropole and the so-called
like to propose an easy itinerary for first-time“Gateway to Arches and
visitors, with some personal tips you probablyCanyonlands”. However, unless you have a
won’t find in guidebooks. This will not be aparticular reason for going to Moab, don’t.
fixed itinerary, except for the first few stops.Considerably smaller than Moab, Green River has
Everyone has different interests, and time anda wide selection of motels and four or five
money to spend on them. So beyond therestaurants. On average, you will find the motels
absolutely key things to see and do, you will beabout 20 - 25% cheaper in Green River and you
on your own.should have little trouble finding one, whereas in
How to Win In Las VegasMoab, depending on the season and the time you
Start your vacation in Las Vegas. If you haveget there, you may have to look around a bit.
never been there before, it is well worth seeing. IfBoth North Canyonlands (known as “The
you have been there before, you will probablyIsland in the Sky”) and Arches are only
want to see it again, because it is constantlyabout an hour’s drive from Green River.
changing.Before you read any further, I should warn you
Since it has become such a popular touristthis itinerary does not include the world famous
attraction (just under 40 million visitors a year),Grand Canyon. There is a good reason for this.
Las Vegas is no longer the unbelievably cheapNorth Canyonlands has a section right near the
oasis it used to be. However, it is still very goodentrance that looks very much like the Grand
value.Canyon. If you have never seen the Grand
Plan to arrive on a weekday (Monday - Thursday).Canyon, Canyonlands offers a convincing
On the weekend, hotel prices can zoom to doublesubstitute. And you will not need to spend two
and often triple what they are during the weekprecious days to go see the real thing!
(Friday, Saturday, and for some hotels, Sunday).South Canyonlands
You can take full advantage at any timeYour next stop will be South Canyonlands (also
(weekdays and weekends) of LV’s lavishknown as “The Needles”), which is
buffets for practically nothing. The different hotelsabout a two-hour drive from Green River and a
ferociously compete with each other to put onone-hour drive from Moab. But don’t hurry.
the best possible spreads at the lowest possibleThe road that leads from Moab to South
prices. Why? The theory is, when you come intoCanyonlands offers a number of photo
a hotel to eat, whatever they may lose byopportunities.
lavishly feeding you, they will more thanYou will probably want to stay in Monticello. This
recuperate by what you drop in the casino.town is much smaller than Moab, more like Green
Avoid the trap. Enjoy the bargain in the buffetRiver, with a reasonable assortment of motels
and keep you hands in your pockets as you passand restaurants. Be certain to ask directions to
through the casino. In most hotels, they only waythe Mormon Temple, a few streets off the main
to get to the buffet is through the casino,road but well worth the detour.
specifically to tempt you!If you leave Green River or Moab by 9 a.m., you
If you are going to gamble and think you can win,should arrive in Monticello before noon. The
play poker. Avoid black jack, roulette, baccarat,entrance to South Canyonlands is several
and certainly the one-armed bandits (slotkilometers before you arrive in Monticello, so you
machines).might want to spend a few hours in the park
What’s the difference?first. This way, you can then decide whether or
When you play poker, you are pitting your skillnot you want to return the park the next
only against the others at the table. If you aremorning or immediately move on.
sufficiently good, you can walk away with aNatural Bridges and a Breathtaking Overlook
bundle; the casino simply rents the space andWhen you leave Monticello, head south on U.S. 191
couldn’t care less who wins and loses.towards Blanding and the junction with Highway
However, if you play any these other games, you95, then turn west. Here you will find two sights
are playing “against the house”. Theseldom mentioned in travel guides. The first is
casino cares very much who wins and loses, youNatural Bridges National Monument. Like Capital
or them. So they fix things so that the loser willReef, it is less spectacular than some other
always be you. Always.attractions, but well worth the visit.
Don’t believe it? There is no secret aboutA few kilometers from Natural Bridges, turn south
it. Virtually every casino has signs shoutingon Highway 261 to one of the most awesome
something like “We give you the best oddssights you will ever see. The road seems to
in town: 98%!” This is LV code that meansabruptly end at a sheer cliff that drops several
”For every 98 times you win, we win 100hundred meters towards Monument Valley, but
times.”gives the impression of diving straight to the
Saying that the games are fixed doesn’tcentre of the Earth.
mean that the dice on the craps table are loadedThe road does not actually end here, but
or that the croupier has a secret button todescends the cliff to the plain below. You may be
control the spinning of the roulette wheel.reluctant to make this apparently perilous journey
It’s the rules that are fixed.on a gravel road. However, there are long, slow
In black jack, for example, the dealer firstswitchbacks all the way down, making the
distributes two cards to each player, includingdescent easier than it may look.
himself. Anyone whose cards add up to 21But what about getting back up again?
automatically wins; otherwise the winner is theDon’t worry. Once at the bottom you can
person (or persons) who come closest to thedrive along Highway 163 back to U.S. 191 and a
magic number 21 without going over it. Imaginegentle rise back towards Blanding.
that your first two cards add up to 14, so youThis will be a decision point. You can now head
ask for another card. It is a 10, bringing your totaleast about 130 kilometers to Mesa Verde, with
to 24. You have gone over 21 (you have gonespectacular scenery and the remains of Indian cliff
bust), so the dealer collects your bet. The dealerdwellings. Or you can head south into Moment
is always the last to play. Suppose he also goesValley, the Petrified Forest and the Painted
bust. What happens? Nothing. He still keeps yourDesert.
bet. So even though the dealer loses, the casinoHowever, if you are now beginning to doubt that
still wins!what you saw at Bryce Canyon was real (I have
It is like this with all the other games where youseen it seven time and I still have doubts), you
play against the house. The rules are fixed tocan take Highway 95 beck towards Capital Reef.
guarantee that sooner or later the casino will takeHighway 95 is every bit as interesting and
your money.photogenic as is Highway 24 between Capital
Knowing that you are going to lose—get itReef and Green River.
firmly into your head that you are going toAfter leaving Bryce Canyon for the second time,
lose—the only reason for gambling is toyou may be looking for an interesting, inexpensive
have fun. If you enjoy playing black jack, craps,place for R & R (rest and relaxation). Stop in
roulette, etc., go right ahead. But choose theMesquite. This is the last gambling oasis in Nevada
lowest possible bet. You can have just as muchbefore crossing into Arizona and Utah. Still a small
fun losing $10 as you can losing $100, probably atown (but rapidly growing), Mesquite has only a
lot more.handful of big casino hotels, which in their own
If your objective is to win at these games, stayway rival many in Las Vegas at about half the
as far away from Vegas as you possible can. Asprice.
the joke goes: How can you leave Las VegasAs you head down the I-15 back towards LV,
with a $1 million in your pocket? Easy. Arrive withswing off for 2-3 hours in The Valley of Fire, a
$5 million.Nevada state park well worth the detour.
First Stop: Zion CanyonAnother possibility. If time permits, take the I-15
To get back to the real world, it’s time tostraight through LV towards Laughlin, about
move north to Utah.1½ hours south. Laughlin is the last gambling
Foreign visitors should know that the Americanoasis on Nevada’s southern border. There
highway system is divided between federallyare several advantages to spending a couple of
financed highways and state financed highways.days there.
Both classes are usually high quality and easy to1. To get to Laughlin, you must pass by Hoover
drive, with federal highways tending to be wider(Bolder) Dam and Lake Mead, both worth a
with more lanes.look-see.
Federal highways are shown on signs in the shape2. Laughlin is on the Colorado River, so if you like
of a shield. There are two categories of federalwater sports, you will be very much in your
highways, designated “Interstate” orelement.
“U.S.” plus a number. In conversation,3. The river is the border with Arizona and
the names are often abbreviated, so thatCalifornia, so if you have never been to California
Interstate 1 becomes I-1, Interstate 2 becomesand insist on setting foot in the Golden State, it is
I-2, etc. U.S. highways remain U.S. 1, U.S. 2, etc.just a few minutes away.
State highways are identified by the4. Because Laughlin, like Mesquite, is not a highly
state’s name plus a number, and shown onpublicized tourist attraction, its hotels are very
signs depicting the state emblem. Utah, formuch less expensive than those Las Vegas. You
example, is known as the “beehivewill especially appreciate the difference on the
state”, so its highways are show on signsweekend, when a $60 hotel in LV can easily go to
in the form of a beehive. Within a state (because$140-170, whereas an equivalent hotel in Laughlin
you know where you are), it is common practiceat $35 may move up to $70-85.
to drop the state name and simply say HighwayFinal Tips for Foreign Visitors
1, Highway 2, Highway 3, etc.The United States tends to “march to a
You will leave Las Vegas by heading northdifferent drummer”. Things there are done
Interstate15 (I-15). Once in Utah, turn off ondifferently. You have already noticed that rooms
Highway 9. Your first stop will be Zion Canyon,in hotels and motels generally do not include
about 4 - 5 hours from LV, where you willbreakfast, which is quite different from the
probably want to spend the night.practice in many other countries. Here are a few
How to Find Comfortable, Inexpensive Lodgingother things to watch out for.
Should you book motels ahead before you leave1. Posted vs. Final Prices
LV? Absolutely not!Local and state taxes are almost never shown in
One of the best things about touring the westernposted prices, so the price you see is almost
national parks is the sense of freedom andnever the price you pay. This is true in hotels,
spontaneity it can give you. You never knowmotels, restaurants, department stores, etc. For
what is going to impress you the most, so youexample, if a motel shows $55 a night for a
never know how long you may wish to staydouble room, the final price is likely to be around
anywhere. Booking ahead regiments you.$61.
So how can you be certain of finding aWhy do they do things this way? The idea is that
convenient and reasonably priced place to spendif people don’t know what they are paying
the night? Actually, it’s not that difficult.in taxes, they don’t know when to get
Throughout the West there are motels galore,properly angry about them. Gasoline (commonly
even in fairly remote areas. You can usually find acalled “gas”) is an exception; the
place to stay even in high season. The trick is toposted price is the final price.
begin looking about 5 - 5:30 p.m. The choice is2. Tipping
likely still to be plentiful and checking in no later“Service” in restaurants is almost
than 6 p.m. gives you time to take a nap or a dipnever included in the price. The customer is
in the pool before going out to eat around 8 p.m.expected to add this voluntarily as a tip. Normally,
then returning to the motel about 10:30 - 11 p.m.the tip should be about 18% of the bill (in a
for a relaxing night’s sleep.restaurant known as the “check”). It
However, don’t become blaséis traditional to leave the tip in cash on the table.
about finding a room. In Utah, the high seasonHowever, if you pay by credit card, you can add
does not follow the late May - early Septemberit directly. Many people chose to do both, i.e. pay
convention when children are not in school. Inwith a card but leave cash on the table.
many places the high season extends intoWhatever you do, don’t forget the tip.
mid-October.Restaurant workers generally get a minimal wage,
Don’t insist on being right at the entranceso they depend on their tips for their livelihood.
to the national parks. For example, the town ofNot tipping is equivalent to stealing.
Springdale at the entrance to Zion Canyon has3. Metric – American conversions
numerous motels. But prices are high and in highIf you are used to the metric system, you may
season you may struggle to find a room.find American measures confusing. Here are some
Hurricane, a pleasant 35-minute drive from Zion,easy approximations.
has many more motels, with prices about halfA. Weights
those in Springdale, and a much broader selection1 pound (1 lb) = 0.45 kilo. To convert pounds to
of restaurants.kilos, divide by 2, then subtract 1/10.
Also, don’t automatically head for aExample: Convert 6 lb to kilos. 6 / 2 - 0.3 (1/10 of
brand-name motel. As the major motel chains3) = 3 - 0.3 = 2.7 kg
continue to spread their tentacles across theFor smaller weights such as in a restaurant: 1
country (Motel 6, Super 8, Ramada, Holiday Inn,pound = 16 ounces, written 1lb = 16 oz. So an 8
Best Western, etc.), locally owned motels areoz steak is 1/2 of 450 g = 225 g, a 12 oz steak
fighting for their lives. You can benefit from this.is 3/4 of 450 = 340 g.
For example, my wife and I rolled into a villageB. Distance
looking for a place to stay. We were particularlySome areas in the U.S. show distance in both
eager to go for a swim. The first sight we sawmiles and kilometers, but such places are rare, so
was a name-brand motel. It had a pool, but ityou will have to use miles. 1 mile = 1.6 km. For a
wasn’t heated. We were in the lategood approximation, add half of the mile distance,
autumn, so the water temperature was tolerablethen add 1/10 to get kilometers.
but not really inviting. I asked the price of aExample: Convert 70 miles to kilometers. 70 + 35
double room. It was $79. “That’s a(1/2 of 70) + 7 (1/10 of 70) = 70 + 35 + 7 =
bit beyond our budget,” I said. “Oh,112 km.
that’s on the ground floor. If you go up aC. Temperature
floor, it’s $59.” That was more toFahrenheit to Celsius: subtract 30, divide by two,
our budget, but since it was just after 5 p.m., Ithen add 1/10.
said we would look around first, and maybe comeExample: Convert 88° F to Celsius. 88°
back later.F - 30 = 58, divided 2 = 29. Now add 1/10 of
About 2 kilometers down the road, we saw a29.to give 29 + 2.9 = 31.9° C.
local motel. It was less spiffy because it was notCelsius to Fahrenheit: multiply by 2, add 30, then
brand new, but it appeared to be well-kempt. Isubtract 1/10.
asked the price: $42. The room was more thanExample: Convert 32° C to Fahrenheit.
acceptable, but the best part was that it had a32° C x 2 = 64, plus 30 = 94, subtract 3.2 (1
heated indoor pool! After luxuriating for an hour or10 of 32) = 90.8° F.
so in the caressingly warm water, we went outD. Prices
for a delicious meal in a nearby restaurantApproximating prices is tricky because exchange
recommended by the motel owner. All in all arates constantly vary. Assume 1 euro = 1.3
delightful—anddollars. Divide the dollar price by 2, then add back
money-saving—experience.half.
For foreigners not familiar with the traveling in theExample: Convert 24 dollars to euros. 24 divide
U.S., you should know that most motels do notby 2 + 6 (half of 12) = 12 + 6 = 18 euros.
serve breakfast. This is why a number of localHave a great trip. And be prepared to come back.
restaurants (called coffee shops) will be open,Because once you have been to Utah, it’s
often from 6 a.m., where you can chosetruly hard to stay away. For me, it is impossible.
whatever you want to start theEditor’s Note
day—eggs, bacon, waffles, pancakes,Philip Yaffe is a former reporter/feature writer
steak, oatmeal, etc. You may not wish such awith The Wall Street Journal and a marketing
lavish breakfast every day, but you should notcommunication consultant. He currently teaches a
disdain the idea. A hearty coffee shop breakfastcourse in good writing and good speaking in
is very much a part of the American travelBrussels, Belgium. In the “I” of the
experience.Storm: the Simple Secrets of Writing &
On to Bryce CanyonSpeaking (Almost) like A Professional, his recently
About 1½ hours away from Zion Canyon ispublished book, is available from Story Publishers
Bryce Canyon. You will leave Zion Canyon onin Ghent, Belgium (storypublishers.be) and Amazon
Highway 9, then turn north on U.S. 89. Where U.S.(amazon.com).